December please be better.

I can't believe it's the first of the month.  Aside from missing my court date *cough* *cough*, This month better be better then the last month.  This past year has been so crazy for me and November has been the worst next to September.  First, I get jumped from school to school for my job then when I settled into a new school that I absolutely loved and wanted to come back to, they switched me to the worst.  

I had the worst school with the worst manager and wanted to shoot her and her workers (not literally.)  Then my uncle dies and the whole family put aside the drama that has been unfolding for the past decade to act nice to each other.  After that, I get smack from the school i volunteer at and at my jobs headquarters I decided to quit.

yes, quit.

It was a hard decision for me.  This was the longest job that I have worked for in January it will be a year and a half.  Then suddenly a light came to me but i decided to put off the day I started to spend time with my daughter plus I never heard of the school.  So today when I went in, I loved it!  I wasn't the only sub at the school all of them were subs and the school was great!  I didn't even hear about it.  So since the light shined on me on the first of december, i am hoping that this month will be better.  My birthday in 15 days, christmas in 25, new years eve in 31 yeah you get the point.

Throughout it all I just have to look ahead and get my things done.

Virus

These last few days i question on who to trust and who to go to.  It seems that everywhere I go there is always that angry bitter person that takes out their frustrations on me.

I learned to be a fighter and not get into the whole getting you back act.

Aside from that, my boyfriends lovely beautiful niece was telling me about how she felt sick and she was throwing up and all that fun stuff.  I felt bad for her i told her to feel better.

Now i have her virus and now it's HER telling ME to feel better.

I am not looking forward to this Thanksgiving.  I thought i would be me and my boyfriend planned it all well.  Go to his mom's first then my family's go to a friends house and have some fun that was our plan.  But on November 19, 2009 my uncle Eric died.  I wish i had a picture with him, i wish i saw him before he was dying.  I found out like 4 days later what kind of person does that?

This whole week is going to be insane.  Tomorrow is the viewing, then thanksgiving and a funeral on Friday. Uncle Bebe was a great person to me he was so good to me when the rest of my family hated me.  When my mom told me that she saw him last Tuesday, I felt jealous.  I wanted to go and see him and hug him and tell him not to be afraid but i didn't.  I was out doing I don't know what and I am kicking myself for it.

But on a brighter note maybe this week is just a celebration of his life.

So since it isn't new that i put up a post once a week or every two weeks but if i am on leave for a long time..blame the virus

although, i am eating some tomato soup and chips and it is making me feel better.

night internet

keeping it real

So I decided to change the name of my blog.  Why?  Well I started some confusions and ended up thinking I don't want to sound like Joan Crawford even though I LOVE her acting but also, I want to keep it real.  Yes mommy dearest is a good choice but, I want my blog name to be as real as possible.

Mommy Stace.  I would NEVER in my life think that's what people would be calling me now at the age of 21.  I got pregnant at the age of 17 and after a lot thinking I decided to keep the baby.  I thought that after my baby it would be so easy and it would breeze by, I ignored what my family and older friends had said about it being hard.  I didn't care, I just wanted my baby, my own mini-me, how fun that would be!  I had a boyfriend (at the time) saying everything will be okay and I thought my life was so perfect.  Well fast forward 13 months later and I regretted ever thinking or saying that my life would be perfect.

I mean the baby wasn't TOO hard thanks to all the help I had around me but, it was the man who made my baby that made everything go to shit.  He was too young and immature he wanted to "explore" and leave me to be housewife.  Honey, that didn't work.  I am a very strong-minded independent person my philosophy in life is, if you can do it then do it.  You can change diapers?  Do it.  You can cook spaghetti?  Do it.  I don't play the housewife role i'm too strong-minded to do that.

Yes I do laundry, cook, clean ,all that good stuff BUT, if you can do it then do it!  I hated when he would dump things on me and just leave to go do his thing.  I may be lazy but not lazy enough to do MY part.

Although I have a new boyfriend now, I take care of my daughter on my own.  She is my responsibility and duty and I love every minute of it.  I don't want no self-help or pity although I long for a place of my own I struggle and strive to get to my goal no matter what

I just keep it real.

Update

I really need to update these things.  Well I decided to change my blog name due to some confusions.  Haha but in the process I will see what it will be.

This whole year has been a whirlwind for me and it has had so many ups and downs that it makes me dizzy.  Lately, school has taken a toll on me and has made me a person that i do not want to become but hey, what can i do?  I am fighting for my rights.  I don't think it's fair to take my education away what person does that?

Anyways, although life takes it's toll i won't let it get to me.

ever.

The Plague.

Sniffling..Check

Coughing..Check

Sneezing..Check

I better not be getting sick it will be a shame.

It will be a shame because I have gone 3 months avoiding it and it can't hit me

I will return with 8 gallons of Orange Juice.

To be continued..

First Timer.

For 2 years i have been trying to make a blog, get a blog or even attempt having one..it hasn't worked!  I went on Xanga and put up a blog after my daughter's pregnancy and it didn't work.  I had Xanga when i was in middle school and it seemed too childish for me.  But here it is my first blog and hopefully this one is a keeper.  I love writing I actually want to go into Broadcasting but school, child and work is holding me back sadly...my fall back is to be a teacher which is what i'm working on now.  I love teaching but man, writing and reporting is something i'm good at!  I'm good at gossiping and i'm good at telling stories and even writing them but due to complications and life, i got back tracked.  I'm roaming like an animal figuring out what to do.

I will be 22 soon and I feel as though i have no set goals or ambitions i'm just going with the flow because from what i learned in the past, forcing yourself to keep steady is not a good idea.  I believe that if you work hard and let yourself just go with the flow it will all come together.

Teaching?  Broadcasting? Teaching Broadcasting? I don't know I guess i will just have to find out sooner or later.

I love blogging and reading other mommy's blogs I always wonder how do they do it?  How do they find strength and more importantly time to do everything?!  I know I sound like a stalker but it keeps me motivated to know that I can be a good mom even if i am 21 with a 3 year-old.  Oh and my Blog name?  I am not Joan Crawford.  Haha.  Although I love her acting..I am nothing like her.  I picked the name mommy dearest because i am very small...well not VERY more like 5'0".  I work hard for my daughter and try to be there for her no matter what and she calls me her "Ma." or "My little mommy."  I feel very dear to her because that is my mini-me but there's also another reason and it's a funny one to me.

So before making this wonderful blog, I dropped her off at her sperm donors house (no, me and the father are not together...let's save this for the next post =]) and i gave him a dirty look and said, "Get her toys, BYE."  And he went "geez ok mommy dearest."  And thus the name was born.  So my blog name is about mostly my daughter and sperm donor referring me to Joan Crawford towards him..which is actually pretty cool.  Haha ok i have to stop.

But this is my new blog, hope you enjoy it!