Thursday, April 15, 2010


Everyone has flaws. It could be, too much fat on your thighs, your unibrow growing in, even looking under the chin which has been my thing lately. My point is, most people need to see past their flaws

I look at myself in the mirror and i'm always picking out my face. ALL.THE.TIME. It's been a habit of mines since pimples entered my face. At first, i would just put cream and eyeliner that was it. But i realized that as i got older those pretty little pimples i used to pick out turned into baby scars then ugly red marks that make me look like i tweezed my face.

Then the eyebrows...oh lawdy lawd do NOT start with the eyebrows...Growing up i had a pretty good shape with my eyebrows but the bad thing was it was bushy, too bushy, i even had hair in the middle, I didn't like looking like uni-lady. I shaved my eyebrows off in middle school and drew on them even with pen sometimes (seriously.) and ever since then, my eyebrows have grown bushy and uneven. So i know, you ask why don't you get them waxed? Well I did twice and they grew out even worse so I just stuck to tweezing but tweezing my eyebrows readers, is like painting a picture...has to be even and perfect.

Now that I am 22, I put foundation, fake lashes, (i screwed up my beautiful long lashes with 99 cents mascara for the past 9 years and they are gone. boo.),draw, paint, pluck my brows and the whole 9 yards. It's kind of sad because I really don't know how to put foundation on or blush or any of that. I wasn't really into face makeup just eye make-up I feel like i'm 13 again.

But, my big flaws are my face,the marks on my face, the ADULT ACNE that is eating my face...and the under chin because yeah, that needs to go before june.

But hey, everyone has their flaws now excuse me while i watch a tutorial on youtube on how to put foundation on ;]

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Stupid Medi-cal

Is it even called that anymore? I keep getting letters saying it changed..well anyways this is war #8 for Medi-cal. I swear ever since I got pregnant, I've had a problem with medi-cal. Actually that's a little drastic. When I was pregnant up to when Jaz was 1, i've had good run ins with medi-cal. Up until they started changing the coverages and sending me to clinics, then it was on.

For me, medical insurance is pretty hard to get and is also in deep shit. It's a tough thing to weigh out. If i could, i would totally protest and walk out because of medi-cal but because this man owns it, it's not really easy. hehe.

So now my new war is renewal. Before, Renewal was every September Then June, for a while it was just September. So I filled the September and sent it. Then I get a letter yesterday saying they're going to terminate my medi-cal due to not renewing it in January. WHAT? Since WHEN did i have to renew it in January? Maybe i'm behind guys but this was a surprise for me.

Now i have to go into the battlefield and take on these lame people to keep my insurance


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Blast from the Past

Last night when I came home, I went online and found old pictures from middle school and high school. Thank god I wasn't in any of them. I know I sound harsh and like those old hags who hate everyone, well growing up in my tween and teen years weren't really fun for me until my senior year. It's not that I hated school and the people around me I just learned how to put my guard up. When i was growing up, I was a pretty good kid. When I got into middle school I loved it! I felt so grown up about to make new friends. Then when I was 12 my dad died.

I remember it was the week before going back to school. I was devastated, shocked, couldn't cry but all I remembered was I didn't want anyone knowing when I went back to school I wanted to be the one to tell my friends and teachers. Well that bit me on my butt, I remember going to school and to me, it felt like EVERYONE knew they said sorry to me, condolences, anything I could do, and I even found out my own math teacher told the whole class. My god I was mad! To me, it was like don't get into my personal business. After that depressing January, I just learned how to shut up, not make friends, go my own way. I outcasted myself because I felt like the only girl who lost her dad. Everyone always talked about their dad and it made me feel left out. I just isolated. But what i learned now, which I should have learned before, was it was better to talk and let everything out. If i did that back then instead of being so angry and holding everything in, I think some things would be different.

Throughout my middle school and high school years I took accustom to bad things thinking it will make everything better. It did make everything better to me, I didn't care, I was in my own world, I didn't have to talk or try to socialize with everyone. I was usually behind the computer screen after school instead of the junior dance I just saw no interest in interacting with people who didn't really want to interact with me. I remember going to my cousins a lot in middle school because she was the next thing to being a sister to me at the time. I made friends at her school and I loved them. They didn't judge me and they had the same problems as me.

When I entered high school I hated it even more. I'm really not an anti-social hatred person it's just the people around me and how I was desperate for change. I really wanted to go to my cousins school because I had a lot of friends there too but I stayed in my high school and after a while my freshman year I still hated it I wanted to get out so bad so i just kept ditching or never did the work. I also noticed I don't have a lot of pictures from high school just the ones on the last day and never came back. I hate saying it now cause i'm older, but I should have just stayed. Although I had beef with that grrBITCHgrr, I should have just ignored it...or punched her in the that would be bad..maybe just ignored it and I would have done fine.

But i'm actually really glad I left because my senior year was the best year for me. I let the 5 years of anti-socializing and bad things get behind me and became my old self again. I loved it! I met so many wonderful people along the way and even graduated a month before the school ended! I don't have regrets from middle school or high school I met a lot of really cool and honest people growing up and am glad I have contact with them. But what i'm trying to get at is when something really bad goes on in your life, don't put your guard up and shut everyone out because then you won't have a chance to live life and embrace it. I spent most of my tween years out doing bad things and behind the computer screen thinking it helped me and the only thing i learned out of it was to hack websites haha. But now that I am older, I am more sociable and open to conversations.

Let's hope Jaz is the same.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Fresh Start

It's been a while since i've blogged. 4 months actually. Well here is the deal,

1.) i forgot my password...yes i know, how irresponsible! how could you abandoned your blog like that?! Well ever since i knew how to use the computer, i have used the same password since. Well it's 2010 it's not that easy anymore so i guess i forgot a
bout the extra words/numbers in my password.

2.) It's hard to write about anything anymore. When I was 13 i had a blog but we called it Xanga. Yes, my Xanga is still operating but i need to shut it down because now i have switched to blog
spot! Don't get me wrong I love Xanga, it's my baby, my life, i wrote about EVERYTHING in that blog from when i was having BF trouble to having a baby. On my last posts I talked about how trying to start a blog on Xanga was hard. How do you go from talking about your 13 year old crush to doing a newstory? I felt i needed a change, but my sanctuary was to laugh at myself uncontrollably cause I uze To tYpE lYkE DiZ wEn I wHuZ 14 oBer muH BoYfRaNhh! hahaha but my point is i don't know what to write. Sometimes i'll post something
and save it forever because i think to myself, do these people really care? Why does someone want to hear about my baby daddy drama and cussing out the Unemployment lady? I read all kinds of blogs, funny blogs, sad blogs, inspirational blogs but it makes me think, as a writer, yes i
still consider myself a writer, what can i write about? But i came to the conclusion to just be mys
elf. go ahead and read and criticize it's on! hehe

3.) change. Last year i tried writing and as i said before, i wanted to TRY and be an advocate for single young moms...well Bristol palin and Teen Mom already beat me to that so..i will do it blog form!! haha. Yes, i am still going to TRY and do the sam
e thing but the only way i can do it now is to tell my story and help other if they want the help. People ask me everyday questions about raising a 3-year-old on my own so i decided to do it here on my blog

well that's about it i am back, again and i will be updating alot! But for now, i would like to start

Hello World! my name is Stace G. this is me and my daughter Jazmin Amber.

I am 22 years old and a full time student at the local CC. Since July 2008, I've been work for the School District as...guess?

Yes, you see the apron, the lunch lady. I know sexy right? I was going to quit my job but like always, my amazing boyfriend motivated me to go on. Anyways I love working with kids but my real passion is to be on the radio. I was very undecided but now i am BOUND to be on the radio! I love Art Leboe, Big Boy, Ryan Seacrest (only on the radio not on american idol! Sorry Ryan ;]) Anywho, it's a career i'm trying to make. This blog is just about me and my crazy life. I also love helping people out hopefully
i can do posts that can help people =]. I believe in determination. Lately my thing has been weight. That's everyone's problem in my eyes. I just want to be fit. I am only 5 feet tall but i feel like for being short, i should keep myself on check and not have a big old pansa haha. So my
goal this get like this again.

October 2007-95 lbs.

Goal Weight-95
my goal is to lose at least 10 pounds.
To most people, that sounds stupid. I know your thinking psh 10 pounds? That's it? Your crazy! But for me, it's hard. I have to have a lot of motivation and inspiration to get up and go and that's why I have this little brat who keeps me going and will inspire me<3